After the Storm
by mumbledletters
Summary: When Lily Evans and Sirius Black hear about an impending Death Eater attack on Hogsmeade, they rush to try and stop it. Of course, they don't tell James Potter anything, but then how did he get there? 4-Part L J 1-Shot.
1. Before the Flashbacks

**Chapter 1: Part 1**

Lily struggled weakly, but the fallen rubble didn't move. It was crushing her, pressing the breath out of her lungs, and she thought, as she lay there gasping for breath, that this was what Death's embrace must feel like….

_James_.

It was only a soft whisper at the back of her mind, but it was a whisper nonetheless. A few months before, Lily would have been asking herself why she was thinking about _him_ at a time like this, but now she was certain as to what the reason was.

She loved James. It was as simple as that. And, lying there, Lily finally admitted to herself what she'd been afraid of, because it was what caused her parents' marriage to fall apart, what had caused Petunia to decide to leave and get married just so she could spite their father. _She loved James_. And now, Lily almost laughed at how absurd she was. She could have told herself this and realized it months ago, but instead she'd lived in a delusion that could have instead been spent with him. James. She'd been avoiding even thinking about him since their fight after Christmas, but now she couldn't stop thinking his name.

"Goodbye," she whispered to him, wishing she could lift the ruins off of her, wishing she could run to him and tell him how sorry she was, how much she loved him.

_Goodbye, James._

**Chapter 1: Part 2**

Meanwhile, James was fighting for his life.

A few other Death Eaters had followed him and Sirius into a back alley near one of the shops that they still hadn't managed to knock down.

James pushed his glasses up onto his sweaty nose. He and Sirius were cornered, and he needed to find Lily.

Sirius looked at him. "Oh, just go. I'll hold them off."

James grinned and ran out of the alley, shooting a Stunning spell at one of the Death Eaters as he ran by. Neither of them turned and followed him, which he thought was a bit strange, but he had other things to worry about.

_Lily_, thought James desperately. _Where is she?_

The last time he'd seen her, she was fighting another Death Eater, a big, dark one, and then that Death Eater had forced her into one of the shops lining the main street. And James had lost track of her, had lost track of the promise he'd made her, when he'd said that he'd never let anyone or anything hurt her, no matter what. Of course, he hadn't said it to her face, but that was kind of the point of unconditional love – you knew it without having to ask.

But James didn't have the time to dwell on things like that right now. The thin Death Eater raised his wand high and opened his mouth, but James shouted, _"Silencio!"_ and the Death Eater choked. James knew it wouldn't help for long, and that the Death Eater would recover in a second, so he yelled, "Stupefy!" and the Death Eater slumped to the ground, unconscious.

James hurried back to the main street, still checking behind him for Death Eaters, but there were none. _Okay, all right,_ he thought, giving himself mental instructions so that he wouldn't fall apart. _Find Lily now._

James ran back up the street, to the building where he'd seen Lily disappear.

It was gone.

Or, more accurately, it had fallen in on itself, rubble strewn everywhere, the perfect picture of chaos.

_Oh, Merlin, no…_

"Lily!" James yelled, hoping for an answer, although he knew there wouldn't be one. He ran into the rubble, using a silent spell to lift away as much of it as he could, until –

"James?"

Her voice was quiet, too quiet, and choked, as if it was physically hurting her to speak. But it was her. It was Lily. He would know her voice anywhere. James ran toward the place where her voice was coming from.

There. He saw a pale arm, which he followed up to a body. Lily's body. It was buried in the rubble, which was crushing her. But she wasn't dead. He'd hear her speak. _She wasn't dead_.

"Lily? Are you okay? Can you hear me?"

He thought he heard a slight cough, and then her voice came out: "Yes, I can hear you. I'm cold, James. I want to go home."

He nearly broke down then, but he told himself he had to be strong, if only for her. And wasn't that enough? Lily was all right. She was alive. James was alive too. Nothing else mattered.

Then he heard a racking cough, and the hand shuddered violently.

"It's – it's all right, Lily. Don't worry. I'll get you out of there."

"I'm sleepy, James…" Her voice was growing softer.

"Don't sleep, Lily. Don't. You can sleep after I get you up to the castle, okay?"

"Mkay."

James pulled his wand out of his pocket and whispered, "Wingardium Leviosa," lifting the rubble carefully, trying not to take too long.

Finally, all the rubble was cleared away. Lily lay there, looking small and broken. Her eyes were closed.

Now unable to stop the tears, James hurried forward and gathered her up into his arms. She didn't move or make any noise.

James rubbed his nose on his shoulder and then turned toward the castle and started running.

**Chapter 1: Part 3**

Lily felt like she was in a dream. She was also pretty sure she'd broken a few ribs, and her leg, and also maybe her elbow, but the hurt had faded away, leaving a dull numbness in its place. She was cold. So cold. She felt like she was flying.

_Merlin, I must be going crazy._

She noticed that her eyes were closed and opened them slowly. For some reason, she was looking up into the face of James Potter, who seemed to be carrying her and – _crying_? James Potter didn't cry. Not even when he'd found out that Death Eaters had killed his mother. She remembered what she had been thinking about before she'd blacked out, and then decided that this must be some sort of dream. James hadn't come with them to Hogsmeade, as far as she knew. She had told Sirius not to tell him about anything. Especially not the Death Eaters. James would only have wanted to come so he could avenge his mother.

His tears splashed onto her arm, and Lily shivered, because the tears felt warm to her.

She decided to speak, then, because if this was a dream, maybe it meant that she had to tell him what she felt, even though she was probably dead already, even though maybe he didn't care. She still had to tell him.

Lily opened her mouth slightly – and stopped. James was looking down at her now, and they were on the castle grounds, surprisingly.

Lily looked up into his eyes, wishing she never had to stop looking; wishing this moment would last forever.

_Well, that would be a bit awkward, wouldn't it? Not to mention uncomfortable._

Lily sighed inwardly. Well, she couldn't be too damaged if her sarcastic and occasionally annoying inner voice at the back of her head (which really couldn't be blamed on anything but her own overactive mind) was back.

James looked up again, and then they were inside the castle and up the stairs in the Hospital Wing. He laid her down on one of the beds and then went and called Madam Pomfrey, who came running.

"What happened?" said the nurse, flustered.

Lily didn't hear James's answer, because he and Madam Pomfrey moved over to the side of the bed and started talking quietly. Lily knew that Sirius had probably told James all about the letters and the things that she and Sirius had figured out by listening to the Slytherins, but she'd never imagined that he would tell James that they were going to Hogsmeade. She hadn't known herself until a few hours ago. Lily strained her ears, trying to hear what James and Madam Pomfrey were saying.

**Chapter 1: Part 4**

Poppy Pomfrey was having a strange night to begin with. First, Dumbledore had come in around half past eight and told her that he thought she could be expecting a sudden upswing in patients and that he had to go to Hogsmeade. And then he'd gone.

Madam Pomfrey had always known that Dumbledore was strange, but if she hadn't known better she would've thought he was completely off his rocker. And that was before she'd figured out that most of what he said turned out to be surprisingly accurate.

Lily Evans was, she was sure, just the beginning. Whenever Dumbledore got that look in his eyes, she knew something had gone extremely wrong. The last time Madam Pomfrey had seen him look like that, the Chamber of Secrets had been opened for the last time, and that poor girl from Ravenclaw – what was her name? Myrtle? – had just died.

Madam Pomfrey listened in awe as James Potter told her all about the Death Eater attack, how it had been coming for years, how Severus Snape had been behind it. This was nearly as bad as the Chamber reopening.

Was that what Dumbledore had expected? Another death, maybe, like Myrtle? It was certainly likely, seeing as apparently half the seventh years were in Hogsmeade. If Lily Evans hadn't been on the edge of death, Madam Pomfrey would have run and alerted the rest of the teachers immediately. As it was, she had a fine job just making sure that Lily didn't die right then.

"What happened?" she asked James as she worked.

"A – a building fell on her. I think it was a house." James's voice broke, and Madam Pomfrey spared a second to give him an encouraging look. Of course she'd known from the second she saw the expression on his face that he was head over heels for the girl. His shirt was stained with Lily's blood, which was seeping from her head and chest. That wasn't what was worrying, though. The way it looked, the girl's left leg and left arm were broken, along with three of her ribs. Even that wasn't too hard to fix, but one of the broken ribs had pierced Lily's lung, and the other had punched straight through her skin, causing blood to stain her shirt.

After thoroughly probing the girl's wounds, Madam Pomfrey flourished her wand and starting the mending process.

"Mind you, she won't be good as new," she said to James, who had relaxed visibly when he saw the nurse start to work. "That'll take a while. But she'll live."

**Chapter 1: Part 5**

"I need to go back." Those were the first words James was aware of speaking after he'd put Lily down.

Madam Pomfrey looked at him like he was insane, which maybe he was, but he'd left everyone back in Hogsmeade. And besides, he wanted to find the Death Eater that was responsible for that building collapsing and kill him.

"You can't possibly be serious!" exclaimed Madam Pomfrey. "You need to go straight up to your dormitory and stay there until it's safe."

James nodded, and then exited the hospital wing. He walked as far as the next corridor, and then checked that no one was around. As soon as he was sure that nobody could see him, he pulled the Invisibility Cloak out and put it on. James wished he had the Marauder's Map, but Remus was fixing it, working out some of the kinks.

He got as far as the one-eyed witch statue on the third floor and tapped the statue's hump, saying, "Dissendium."

James lowered himself into the hump when it opened up and, dumping the Cloak at the mouth of the tunnel, started running as fast as he could along the passage. When he reached the stairs, he went a little slower, finally slowing to a walk as he got to the end of the stairs, feeling above his head to make sure he didn't bash his head on the trapdoor in the Honeydukes cellar. James's fingers finally found the door, and before he emerged into the cellar, he whispered, "Lumos," and his wand tip lit up.

Slowly, carefully, James pushed up the trapdoor, making sure that he didn't make more noise than he could help. The Death Eaters could know about the secret passages out of the castle. He was sure that by now they knew about the one under the Whomping Willow, because they had Snape on their side.

_Snape_. James couldn't stand him. It was mostly because he was a Death Eater, one of the people who were responsible for killing his mother. And also, though he wouldn't admit it to anyone, he'd always suspected that Snape had feelings for Lily. Maybe he was wrong, but he'd tried to warn Lily before, and he wouldn't do that if he thought she was just another Mudblood.

The cellar was deserted, and James ran out into the street. A Death Eater who had apparently been waiting for someone to come out of Honeydukes fired a spell at him, but he blocked it with a shield charm and fired a jinx back in retaliation. The jet of purple light that flew out of James's wand hit the Death Eater square in the chest, and he crumpled. James ran past him, seeing groups of students and Death Eaters fighting all over the village. Whenever he had a clear shot, he fired spells and jinxes at any Death Eater he could see. Now he had a new goal: Find Snape and kill him.


	2. The First Flashback

**Chapter 2: Part 1**

Lily tried staying awake, but James had left, and with him, any hope of comfort for her. What if he'd gone back to Hogsmeade? He was going to get himself killed. And if he did, she would never get to tell him anything. Her vision blurred, and she saw the silhouette of Madam Pomfrey leaning above her, fixing whatever she'd broken and everything else that was wrong with her. As her eyes drifted shut, Lily recalled exactly how she and Sirius had found out about the attack…

**Chapter 2: Part 2**

N.E.W.T. level Potions had just finished, and Lily was, as usual, packing up her bag and talking to Sirius. He was the only one of James and his friends who had sided with her after her and James's fight at Christmas, for reasons she didn't know. But since then, Sirius had been like her new best friend. And she was grateful for it.

Suddenly, Severus Snape came up to the two of them, looking extremely uncomfortable.

"Um, Lily, could I talk to you for a second?" Lily narrowed her eyes. Snape hadn't tried to talk to her since after their argument in fifth year, after he'd called her a Mudblood.

"What is it, _Snivellus_?" she asked, putting as much contempt into the word as she could. Severus looked downcast, and Lily immediately felt sorry, but it wasn't like she was going to admit that to him. It was his fault they were no longer friends, anyway, and Lily had put it behind her. _I think_.

"Alone?" he asked, eyeing Sirius.

"No," said Sirius at once, shouldering his bag and looking down at Snape, who he was a full five inches taller than. Snape put his hand in his pocket, but Lily stepped between the two before they could start dueling.

"Just get on with it, Snape," she sighed. Honestly, she spent half her time stopping Sirius from dueling, and the only reason she had that power was because she was Head Girl now, and could take away points if she wanted. Not that she would, but she wasn't about to tell Sirius that. The only reason she even spent that much time with Sirius was because only a few of her friends were in the same N.E.W.T. classes as she was, and Sirius (along with, unfortunately, James) was in all of them.

"Well, there's a Hogsmeade trip tomorrow –"

"You can't possibly be thinking of asking me on a date?" said Lily coldly, trying – and failing – to raise an eyebrow.

Snape turned bright red. "No," he muttered. "You just shouldn't go. It won't be safe for a Mu-muggleborn." He grew pale on the last word.

Lily clenched her fists, and then swung her bag onto her shoulder and stalked out of the room, Sirius following her. She knew that Sirius would know better than to ask why she was so upset, but really it was a bit obvious that Snape had been about to call her a Mudblood again and just restrained himself. Besides, Sirius had been there that day after O.W.L.s.

_Well, we're not friends anymore, so it doesn't matter._ Lily tried to make herself believe it, but another thought kept butting in: _What if you'd forgiven him two years ago? Would he still be like this? Or would he be that boy that you grew up with, that you thought you knew?_

There was no point in thinking about that, reasoned Lily, because she couldn't do anything about it now. It was too late.

"So what do you reckon that was all about?" Sirius asked as they sat down in the common room after dinner.

"Not sure," said Lily, frowning. "If it's not safe for muggleborns, why did he just tell me? It's a load of rubbish, I think. Besides, I've needed a new quill for ages, and Snape was probably just playing a joke on me or something."

"But why wouldn't it be safe?" Sirius seemed to be doing some hard thinking. "Okay, we're going to go down to the Slytherin common room and figure out what's going on."

"How are we going to do that? Everyone knows we're Gryffindors. And even if they didn't, we don't know the password!" Suddenly, Sirius grinned.

"I do know the password. I heard a Slytherin prefect telling some first year. They'd probably be more careful, but I guess I fit the description of a Slytherin pretty well." His voice turned bitter, and Lily remembered Remus Lupin telling her that his whole family had been in Slytherin. She suddenly felt a rush of affection for Sirius, who must understand just how it was to feel like an outcast in his own family. It had been all right for Lily until one year ago, when her sister, Petunia, had gone off to college. That was when her parents had realized that she would never be anything like Petunia because she was too…'freakish' was the word Petunia would've used. And maybe she was right.

Lily brought herself back to the present. "But how on earth are we going to get in? There's absolutely no way the Slytherins are stupid enough to believe that I'm one of them."

Sirius's grin got wider. "Did James ever tell you about his Invisibility Cloak that he inherited from his dad?"

Lily nodded, not making the connection. "Yes, but what does that have to do with–"

Sirius grabbed her arm, hauled her out of the common room, and pushed her into the first empty classroom he could find. "I nicked it," he said, pulling it out of his bag. "Come on! Let's go, we don't have much time."

"What, now?" asked Lily, taken aback.

"Yes, now!" And he threw the Cloak over them.

**Chapter 2: Part 3**

"You're insane," whispered Lily ten minutes later as they stood in front of a blank stretch of wall in the dungeons. "This is never going to work, Sirius! There's no way they won't notice if the door to their common room just opens. What are we going to do if we're caught?"

"Stun anyone who witnesses it." Lily honestly hoped he was joking, but before she had time to ask, Sirius had whispered, "_Occulta mala_," and the wall had slid open.

They were either the luckiest or unluckiest people in the world. The common room was completely deserted.

"Weird," said Lily, whispering even though there wasn't anyone there. The room was filled with strange skulls, there were lamps hanging from the ceiling, and the light was an eerie shade of green.

"Yeah, I know. I think it's under the lake; that would explain the green light," replied Sirius, leading her over to a couch backed against the wall. He pushed it forwards a foot or so, and then he and Lily squashed themselves in. It was extremely uncomfortable, and Lily hoped they didn't need to stay there for long. Sirius checked that they were still completely covered by the Cloak and then looked around at Lily. Then he snorted.

"What?" questioned Lily, still whispering.

Sirius shook his head, still grinning. "I was just thinking about how much James would've loved to be in this position a few months ago."

"If you start reciting poetry, I swear I'm leaving right now," laughed Lily, but the remark had cut deeper than she'd let on. Before their fight after Christmas, she'd thought – it had been wrong, but she'd thought that there might have been something else between her and James. He'd changed. But not enough, and here she was, being a completely hormonal teenager and thinking about nothing but boys (well, one boy in particular) and fights and how much she wished she understood what was going on in her life.

Then the wall melted away and three people walked in. Lily cut her laugh short.

Snape and two of his friends, Avery and Mulciber, walked into the room. Mulciber was grinning.

"Finally, after all these years," Avery was saying.

"I'm not really sure Malfoy was telling the truth," said Snape slowly.

"What are you talking about?" asked Mulciber harshly. "He showed you the Mark, didn't he? There's no way to fake that, unless you think he drew it on himself."

Lily looked over at Sirius, whose eyes were wide with anger. "What?" she mouthed. "Later," Sirius whispered.

"The Mudbloods won't know what hit them," said Avery, and laughed nastily. "And we're going to finally join with the Dark Lord! Even our parents weren't given this honor."

"Yeah," said Snape, who seemed distracted. "Listen, I'm going to finish my Potions essay. See you later." And, without waiting for an answer, he swung around abruptly and stalked away.

Lily looked over at Sirius again. He was shaking. She waited until Avery and Mulciber had gone up to their dormitory and then turned to him. "What was that all about?"

"Let's get out of here," replied Sirius. "Before anyone else comes in. I'll tell you then."

**Chapter 2: Part 4**

For the third time that day, Lily rounded on Sirius, albeit quietly, because they were in the crowded and noisy common room. "Are you going to tell me what the _hell_ that was about back there?"

Normally she wouldn't be this annoyed, but Sirius had insisted on dragging her through what felt like every single shortcut and secret passage in the school, and then doubling back and doing it again. Twice. And then they'd gone back to the common room, where they'd both finished their homework, and Sirius had _still_ refused to explain.

"Is the Head Girl swearing?" said Sirius, grinning, and Lily hit him on the head. "Ow! All right, all right, I'll tell you." Suddenly, Sirius's expression changed from one of laughter into one of sadness, almost anger. "You know my brother, Regulus?"

Lily thought back. She did remember a young boy who had been in Sirius's company for a short time in their second year on the train, and then gone to sit with some Slytherins. She'd never talked to him, and barely remembered his face.

"He's a sixth year now, isn't he?"

Sirius shook his head grimly. "He would be, if he were still here. He became a Death Eater last summer. Obviously my wonderful mum and dad were thrilled. Voldemort had something for him to do and he left." Sirius's voice grew even more bitter. "I always knew he was going that way. I should've tried to stop him, I suppose. But I stopped living with him last year when my parents kicked me out."

Lily nodded, thankful that Sirius hadn't mentioned he was living at James's house. She couldn't take the thought of him on top of all her confusion.

"But last summer, that last week before I left he tried to talk to me. He told me all about being a Death Eater, and how great it is. And then he showed me this weird marking on his left arm. Apparently, it's what marks anyone who's in Voldemort's inner circle. And I think that's what Snape and his friends were talking about. That mark. Do you remember Malfoy?"

"I don't know," said Lily truthfully. "Wasn't he that 5th year prefect? When we were first years?"

"Yeah, that's him," said Sirius. "Remember what they said? Something about if he drew something on himself. They must mean that mark!"

"But wait," whispered Lily, because a group of 6th year girls were going up to their dormitory. "They also said something about joining the Dark Lord…what if they're going to become Death Eaters?" Her voice rose to almost a shout.

"Shh!" said Sirius frantically, but there was nobody in the common room except for James, and he was absorbed in his Charms essay at the other end of the room.

"Sorry," said Lily, whispering again. "But what are we going to do about that? Should we tell the teachers? Or try and stop it? But how would we do that?"

Sirius smirked. "Stop asking questions for a second. We can't tell any of the teachers, we don't have any physical proof. We're going to have to try to stop them ourselves. And since it seems like there're going to be at least one or two Death Eaters in Hogsmeade, I might as well bring other students."

"Who can we tell?" asked Lily. Then a thought struck her. "Don't tell James," she said, even more quietly. "You remember what happened last month?"

Sirius nodded. James's mother had died because of a Death Eater attack on his hometown, which was mostly filled with wizards. His father, who'd been away at the time, was fine, but his mother hadn't survived.

"I won't tell him. I promise," he said. "But don't worry, I've got a few friends who I think will want to get rid of them just as much as we do."


	3. The Second Flashback

**Hi, everyone. I know it's been about six months since I last submitted (which, for you, must be like 500 years, but felt like 2 seconds for me). I guess you could blame school? PLEASE DON'T KILL ME. Also it was really hard to get inside James's head, and I have no idea why. Lily and Sirius were easy to write. Hell, _Madam __Pomfrey _was easy to write. But James escapes me.**

**Anyway, here's the long-awaited (by both of us, trust me) Chapter 3!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3: Part 1<strong>

James strode through Hogsmeade determinedly, checking inside houses and in alleyways, but other than the few Death Eaters he saw dueling students, there wasn't anyone there. He cursed under his breath, still searching for Snape. It was his fault they were in this mess, anyway.

Forcing himself to slow down a little, James tried to think. Where could Snape have gone? But his thoughts kept returning to the day before, when he'd first heard of the attack, though it seemed like months ago now.

**Chapter 3: Part 2**

Tuesday had been bad enough. James should've known it would get worse.

"Look, it's not going to help you if you mope around for the rest of your life," said Remus. "Just get over her! Padfoot'll come around. It really wasn't your fault."

'Her' was Lily, of course. It had been nearly five months since their fight, and James still hated himself for it. It was his fault, and if only he hadn't been so _stupid_ – their growing (if grudging on Lily's part) friendship had ended abruptly.

"Whatever, Moony," said James, and he finished his Charms essay with a flourish. "I'm going to go work on the Map." He shoved the essay into his bag, swung the bag over his shoulder, and walked out of the common room.

Upstairs in the boys' dormitory, James pulled out an old-looking piece of parchment. Ignoring the urge to look around for intruders – he, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were the only ones who came in here, anyway – James tapped the parchment with his wand and whispered, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

It had literally taken Sirius and Remus months to figure out how to get the spell to work properly; James hadn't been much help there, because he wasn't very good at Charms. Well, no, that was a lie. He just wasn't as good as they were. He was better with Transfiguration, which had come in handy when they were trying to figure out how to fit all of Hogwarts onto one tiny piece of parchment that had to be easy to carry around, along with making everything the proper proportionate size.

Ink spread across the map like water. It twisted into words and shapes, and, finally, the dots that labeled everyone at Hogwarts.

They'd thought they'd completed it in their sixth year, but then in the beginning of this year when the new first years had arrived, none of them had shown up on the map. The Marauders had realized that they needed to charm the map so that it didn't just show the old students of Hogwarts, it showed anyone and everyone who ever went there. So far he'd succeeded in getting the younger siblings of everyone who'd ever gone to Hogwarts, but that still left a lot of the younger students, mostly muggleborns, off the map, and that was before they even considered the problem of future students.

The door opened, and James looked up from where he was lying on his stomach on his four-poster. It was Sirius.

He didn't say anything, just threw his bag onto his bed and stalked out of the room.

James had absolutely no idea why Sirius was taking Lily's side. For the past six years, Sirius had supported James in whatever he'd tried to do that pertained to Lily (though, admittedly, he had failed miserably every time). Was that what this was? Was Sirius trying to win her over for him? James doubted it. Something about the way he looked at James now told James that Sirius didn't want anything to do with him anymore.

James didn't feel like working on the map anymore. He shoved it onto Remus's bed and rolled over on his own, extinguishing his wand and falling asleep.

**Chapter 3: Part 3**

The next day was Wednesday. James hated Wednesdays; they were so uninteresting, stuck in the middle of the week, and that was the day the teachers dumped the most work on the students – though, admittedly, the seventh-years got more than their fair share of homework every day.

First, James had N.E.W.T. level Charms, and he turned in his essay to Professor Flitwick even though he knew it was a week early. The short professor beamed at him from atop the stack of books on his chair, and then taught them the day's lesson. James spent the whole class trying to convince himself that he was staring out the window under which Lily Evans sat instead of at her. After Charms was Transfiguration (again, N.E.W.T. level – every class James was taking was N.E.W.T.), in which James didn't even have to pay attention – Transfiguration came easy to him, almost like Quidditch. He doodled a few squiggles on his parchment just to look like he was taking notes, but stopped and crumpled up his paper when the squiggles started to look like two distinct letters. After Transfiguration was lunch, which was the only thing James could pay proper attention to because he was famished – apparently sadness made you hungrier. Then after lunch was Herbology (not that James had any idea why he was taking that class, and at the N.E.W.T. level, too), the only class James was taking Lily wasn't. He was grateful, he supposed, but there was a strange emptiness inside him when he looked over at the Venemous Tentacula and thought of a prank he, Sirius, Remus, and Peter had played on Lily in their second year, which may or may not have involved their putting the Tentacula's plant food in Lily's hair. After Herbology there was a half-hour break, during which James worked on the Map a bit more, and then he went with Remus to Defense Against the Dark Arts, which had gotten progressively harder as the year went on and was no different today. The students were attempting Patronus Charms, which James managed to do easily, but there was a single scary moment right before the silver stag burst out of his wand that he thought he wouldn't be able to do it. Finally, after Defense Against the Dark Arts was Potions, his last class. And that was when James's day had gotten interesting.

The class itself was excruciating, actually, because Felix Felicis was tricky to make and Potions was the only class that James didn't get within a second. Lily used to tell him that it was good for him and it might deflate his swelled-up head one day–

_No. I'm not thinking about her right now._

James spent half the class trying to make his potion turn clear gold, as the textbook said, until Remus told him he'd forgotten to add alligator liver, and by then he'd let it sit too long. He turned in his potion at the end of class with a massive headache, and accidentally pushed over a jar of armadillo hearts.

"You go ahead," he told Remus, and then bent over to clear them up.

"Lily, could I talk to you for a second?" James started listening despite himself when he heard her name. Then he realized it was Snape's voice.

"What is it, _Snivellus_?" James grinned when he heard the amount of contempt she put behind the name.

"Alone?" Snape sounded hostile, the way he only did when he talked to one of the Marauders.

"No," came Sirius's voice.

"Just get on with it, Snape." Lily.

"Well, there's a Hogsmeade trip tomorrow–"

Lily blurted out exactly what James was thinking when he was only halfway through the thought.

"You can't possibly be thinking of asking me on a date?"

"No." Snape sounded embarrassed. "You just shouldn't go. It won't be safe for a Mu-muggleborn."

James balled up his fists and sat there, breathing deeply. He knew Snape had been about to call Lily a Mudblood again. He heard loud footsteps out of the dungeon, which he knew were Lily's without knowing how. Someone sighed, which he guessed was Snape, and James heard more people walk over to the same spot.

"Why were you talking to that Mudblood, Snape?" James turned his attention back to cleaning up the splattered armadillo hearts so that he wouldn't react violently, but he couldn't help listening to what the Slytherins were saying at the back of his mind.

"I-um, I wasn't." James heard the other Slytherins laugh.

"Sure, and my mother's a Mudblood," said Avery's voice, choked with laughter. "You'd better not have told her about the initiation tomorrow."

"Of course I didn't." Snape's voice sounded cold again. "I'm not stupid."

"Good. They'll be taken by surprise, then." This time it was Mulciber speaking, a dark and brutal-faced seventh year with hooded eyes. "The more Mudbloods get hurt, the better."

"And Malfoy is going to do it! We'll finally be one of his elite–"

The sound of a blow muffled the rest of Avery's sentence.

"Slughorn's still in here, you bloody idiot!"

James heard the Slytherins leave the classroom, and stood up with the fallen hearts in his hand.

_What the hell is going on?_

**Chapter 3: Part 4**

James flopped down onto the bed, pretending to work on the Map so that Remus wouldn't walk in and think he was moping over Lily again. Technically he wasn't, but he would never convince Remus of that.

Avery had said that they – the Slytherins – were going to do something that would obviously have a negative impact on the muggleborns. He'd also mentioned Lucious Malfoy. James didn't remember him too well, but he knew that Malfoy had been a prefect in James's first year. In a few of the conversations he'd had with Sirius before James and Lily's fight, they'd mentioned him a few times. Sirius had said more than once that Malfoy knew his younger brother Regulus. It had always been with the same distasteful expression that James had come to associate with Death Eaters, Voldemort, and Slytherins. Since Malfoy had left Hogwarts four years ago, James guessed that Malfoy was a Death Eater now, which would make sense, because Regulus was one too. And he'd said something about become someone's "elite" – did that mean they were going to become Death Eaters?

_They are going to attack Hogsmeade and kill all the muggleborns. They are going to kill Lily, the way they killed my mother_.

James dropped his head into his hands and closed his eyes.

_Shit_.

His eyes opened, unfocused.

_No. I lost my mum already. I am NOT going to lose Lily._

James let his eyes focus on the Map. He needed some work to distract himself from what was going on.

It was open to the Slytherin common room, which was mapped out to perfection thanks to the Invisibility Cloak and Sirius's constant knowledge of the Slytherin passwords. It was empty – no, wait, there was a person sitting behind one of the couches, pushed against the wall. James peered closer, confused. Why would anyone sit there? It must be uncomfortable, and there was nobody else in the room if they were having a cry.

It wasn't one dot. It was two, so close together that they overlapped and looked like one. The names beneath them read _Sirius Black_ and _Lily Evans_.

James pushed the Map onto the small table next to his bed. He remembered a conversation he'd had with Sirius last year, when they were scoping out the Slytherin common room for the Map. Sirius had told him that since the room was so empty it would be easy to bring a girl in here and make out with her. No one was ever in the room anyway.

James had laughed. "What if you were caught, though?"

Sirius had looked around. "There." He'd pointed to a couch, the same one he was kissing Lily behind right now. "We'd just hide there."

So _that's_ why Sirius had taken Lily's side. They were together. Romantically. Sirius had succeeded where James had failed.

_If he hurts her, I swear I'll kill him._

But other than that, he couldn't think of anything to do. If Lily was happy, James wouldn't interfere. He loved her too much for that.

_Do I really love her enough to let her go?_

He curled up on his side with his back to the door and extinguished the lights with a wave of his wand.

James felt the first tear slip sideways down his cheek.

_Yes. I do._

**Chapter 3: Part 5**

James wrenched himself out of the memory. He didn't know why he was still walking, but something was propelling him away from Hogwarts, from Lily. He couldn't think, couldn't understand anything around him, just kept walking on and on.

There was a light in one of the intact shops ahead, and James veered towards it instinctively. He burst into the door.

Severus Snape was standing at the other end of the room with a bandage around his left forearm. Before he could raise his wand, James had disarmed him, bound him with invisible cords, and hoisted him into the air.

Snape looked scared. "What's the matter, Snivellus? I thought Death Eaters were supposed to be brave, but maybe they overestimated you. You're still nothing but a sniveling coward."

"She's dead, isn't she?" That wasn't the response James had expected.

"What?"

"I noticed you stay behind yesterday. You heard me talking to Lily and Black. You knew about this, didn't you?"

James nodded, unable to see where this was going.

"Is she dead?"

"No," James snarled, "but she almost died. And it's your fault."

"You should get her up to the castle! She could be healed!"

"I already did. And I don't know what's going to happen." Snape looked a little relieved, which confused James. "What do you care, though? You haven't spoken in years. You're a Death Eater, I see that thing on your arm. Why would you care about her? She's a muggleborn, and the only reason people like her are targeted is because of people like you."

Snape didn't have an answer for that. James tried to control his anger, but it bubbled out of him like hot lava. He punched Snape in the stomach, in the face, kicked him, feeling as if every moment of pain he put Snape through was revenge for all those years he spent poisoning Lily's mind against James, driving a rift between them that now James could never repair.

The door burst open behind James, and he spun around. Sirius stood framed in the door, and then Sirius ran across the room and dragged James out.

"He deserves it. But you can't hurt him, Prongs. Lily wouldn't want you to stoop to their level."

James broke away from Sirius's grip. "It doesn't matter what she would've wanted." But he turned away from the shop, trudging back towards the school.

Now he had to go make sure that Lily was all right.


	4. After the Flashbacks

**If you don't want to read me rambling for three paragraphs, just skip to the bit that says Chapter 4: Part 1. Go on. No? All right, but you've no idea what you've gotten yourself into.**

**It's done! I did it! I finished the story! Thanks to everyone who reviewed - I know I don't ask for them because I know it annoys you, but for everyone who did, thank you so much! Also, I want to publicly thank my friend Jordan for kicking me in the behind for a few weeks and asking constantly if I'd finished the story. This chapter is dedicated to her, I suppose.**

**I finally realized why it was so damned hard to get into James's head - he's so angsty and emotional and all, and I as a person am just not.**

**If you want more from me, I'll probably be writing some Doctor Who fanfic fairly soon, so keep checking back here. Also I know the title of the story makes absolutely no sense in any context, and I'm sorry for that, and it doesn't reveal my meaning in this chapter either, so for those of you who care I'll post a brief explanation at the end of this chapter (which is the last, and I'm so excited about that when really I shouldn't be).****  
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><p><strong>Chapter 4: Part 1<strong>

When Lily woke up, she didn't open her eyes.

Instead, she lay there for a second, wondering why she felt someone or something touching her hand. Also, she was sore all over her body, though her ribs felt the worst.

Lily opened her eyes and realized that she was lying in the hospital wing, along with a few other students, whom she could see lying on the other beds around the room. She turned her head to the left and saw James sitting on a chair, his head on the bedside table next to her, asleep. She contented herself with just looking at him for a moment, and then realized that he was holding her hand in his. Lily took her hand back and painfully pushed herself into a sitting position.

It was still dark outside, but Lily, looking out the window, guessed it was nearing dawn, or it would be in an hour or so. Everything she could see was a strange mixture of grey and blue. She wished she had thought to wear her watch, but in her hurry she'd left it in her dormitory.

Lily winced. Every breath was painful. She was surprised she wasn't dead.

_James saved me_. Lily smiled to herself in the dark, looking down at her hands. She was happier than she'd been in months and had no idea why.

Well, sort of.

It was a strange kind of happiness. It was like she was glowing, like everything around her was glowing bright and golden while still being that dim grey-blue.

_So this is what being in love feels like. It's very…strange._

The pain in Lily's chest endured and after sitting for a little while, she decided to go back to sleep. She slid very slowly down the pillow until she was lying down, then reached up for James's hand, threading her fingers through his. She fell back asleep with her head turned towards James and their hands, her fingers fitting perfectly in the spaces between his, on the pillow between them.

**Chapter 4: Part 2**

James opened his eyes. He reached to his left for his glasses and then stopped, remembering where he was. Lily's hand was still in his, and he gently pulled their fingers apart. He stood up and stretched, and then looked down at Lily. She had a small crease between her eyebrows that he wanted to reach out and smooth with his fingers, but–

_Stop it._ James turned away and started walking towards the door. _She's not yours, never will be, stop thinking about impossible things._ He was already up in the common room before he realized he had no idea what time it was. James checked his watch. It read 4:30 AM. He sighed and went up to the dormitory. _Might as well get some sleep. Still got a few hours before classes start._

James woke up the next morning feeling exhausted, but still rolled out of bed and got ready for his classes. Sirius sat next to him in the Great Hall and talked to him as if nothing had happened in the past few months, as if now everything could go back to normal. Just two days ago James would have been thrilled, but now he could barely stand to look at Sirius, let alone start their friendship back up after five months of virtually being strangers. Conversation became easier when Remus sat down with them – he had a certain way of making everyone feel included that so few people do.

Throughout the day half of James tried to urge him into going and visiting Lily while the other half vehemently opposed it. Finally, at the end of the day, James decided to go check on her – not go near her or anything, but just look in for a bit and then come back later.

_I swear I'm _not _going to stay there a second longer than I have to_, said the still-madly-in-love side of his head.

_Oh, fine_, said the just-leave-it-it's-over side of him. _If you really _want _to make a bloody depressed fool out of yourself._

James stopped in the middle of the corridor outside the hospital wing doors and sat down on a windowsill.

_Do I really want to do this?_

He heard footsteps and looked up. Remus was walking down the corridor. James had told Remus everything over the course of their breaks throughout the day and lunch, and he was the only person so far who knew exactly what had happened to James and how he felt about it.

"Hey, Prongs."

"Hi, Moony."

Remus sat down on the sill next to James.

"Prongs, you've got to stop torturing yourself."

"I'm not. I'm perfectly fine."

"No, you're not. Just listen to what I'm telling you. Stop going after her. Sirius got to her first. And all you're going to do is torture yourself if you keep this up. It's not worth it to make you hate yourself for just one girl. There'll be others. And maybe this is a sign. Maybe it's finally time for you to move on."

James looked into Remus's eyes, too old to be in his young, seventeen-year-old face. He sighed. "Yeah, you're right, Moony. I need to move on."

Remus smiled understandingly. "Come on, I think I finally found the way to fix the Map."

**Chapter 4: Part 3**

Lily was impatient. She tapped her fingers in a quick rhythm on her knee as Madam Pomfrey checked over her "one last time" (which had happened about four times now). Finally, Madam Pomfrey stood aside.

"You're free to go." Lily bounded out of the bed. "But don't overexert yourself! The slightest pain anywhere and you come straight back here, you understand me?"

But Lily was already gone, flying out the doors and down the hallway with the attitude of a prisoner just released from jail.

Her first mission: get her schoolbag from the dormitory where it had sat unused for a week and a half. Her second mission: find that idiot James Potter and ask him why the hell he hadn't been to see her in the hospital wing. She hadn't been too bored because Sirius had come to see her after classes nearly every day, but she was lonely in a different way. And if James had the patience to stay with her all night in the hospital wing, he'd better have a really good reason why he couldn't have come and seen her _at all_ in the days following.

There were so many emotions rushing through Lily that she ran up the spiral staircase taking two steps at each stride – no easy feat seeing as she was only about five foot five.

She arrived in front of the Fat Lady disheveled but bright-eyed, and blurted out "_Ante Tempestas_" before the Fat Lady had opened her mouth to ask for anything.

"No, I'm sorry, dear, it's changed," the Fat Lady said, smiling apologetically. "You'll have to find someone who knows the new password."

Lily walked slowly away from the portrait. It was the middle of the day and everyone was in their respective classes, though Lily didn't know what those might be because she hadn't gotten a chance to get this week's schedule. She decided to wander around the halls for a while and wait until the bell rang before finding someone to tell her the new password.

Lily let her feet carry her where they wanted to go, unless she found that she was straying too close to the Hospital Wing; she still wasn't sure Madam Pomfrey wouldn't drag her back in because she looked a bit peaky.

Lily had passed a deserted hallway three times before she realized that it wasn't deserted; there was someone sitting there, on a windowsill. Lily only had to go a few paces down the hallway before she recognized James.

He didn't seem to realize she was there until she was standing right in front of him, and then he raised his head and met her green eyes with his clear hazel ones.

"Oh. Er. Hi."

It didn't seem like he'd expected to be found – and who would, Lily reminded herself, in the middle of the day when classes were going on? She smiled shyly.

"Madam Pomfrey told me what you did. Thank you." She held her arms out.

James hugged her, suddenly conscious of his every movement. Lily pulled away from him, but just a little, so that their faces were barely inches apart.

"How did you get me out of there? I thought I was dead for sure."

James gave a small smile. "I found you," he said quietly. In the silence that followed his words, Lily's expression changed. Her face got a strange, open look to it, as opposed to the closed-off way she'd looked at him for months now. She closed her eyes and slowly began leaning towards him.

James leaned his head forwards, until his face was less than an inch away from Lily's. Then, thinking about Sirius, he slowly let his forehead rest on hers.

Lily's eyes snapped open. "Just kiss me already, damn it," she said, and, without waiting for him to move, grabbed him around the neck and brought her lips to his.

For a second, James didn't move, savoring the feel of her and letting himself get caught up in the moment. Then he pulled away.

Lily's green eyes looked like deep and unreadable pools, but James knew he'd hurt her. "I-I'm sorry, Lily, I didn't – I mean, I know about you and Sirius and I didn't think that it was true at first, but…" He stopped. She was _smiling_.

"James Potter, you moron," she said, tossing her hair back from her face in that way that always drove him mad, "You'd better explain yourself really well. Me and _Sirius_? That's almost as mad as me and you."

"So, you aren't – I mean, you're both not – I mean…you don't like Sirius?" James rumpled up his hair, more out of bewilderment than habit.

"Merlin, what are you, a first-year, Potter? Yes, I like him, as a _friend_. Nothing more." Lily laughed at the look of racing thoughts on James's face.

"So, just now, you actually–"

"Kissed you? Yeah. The whole near-death experience thing kind of brought home some things that I shouldn't have lived without, and one of them, for whatever reason, was you."

"God, Evans, why the hell didn't you say so before?" And James caught her up around the waist and spun her around once, laughing. Then he set her down and kissed her gently. When he broke away, he leaned his forehead against hers and twined their hands together.

"Not to ruin the moment or anything," said a voice from behind them, "But McGonagall says that no matter how many Death Eater attacks there are on Hogsmeade, she expects her N.E.W.T. students to be on time to class as soon as they're released from the hospital wing."

James turned around.

"Sirius," he said, "I am going to kill you."

And he proceeded to chase Sirius down the corridor and out of sight.

Lily laughed, because she was pretty sure that Sirius had absolutely no idea why James was chasing him. Then she picked up her bag and walked slowly to Transfiguration.

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><p><strong>So if you want to review, go ahead, that'd be fun.<strong>

**The "storm" in the title refers to the attack on Hogsmeade, and Lily and James get together after the attack - After the Storm. Got it? Yay! I need sleep.**


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